Nominate one family spokesperson
This is the single most useful thing a family can do. Choose one person who receives updates and passes them on to everyone else.
It is not about limiting access. When eight relatives ring separately, staff spend hours repeating themselves instead of caring for patients. The family also ends up with eight slightly different versions of the same news, which causes more distress than the news itself.
When to call
Avoid the handover periods at the start of each shift and the morning ward round, when the team is reviewing every patient. Ask the nurse in charge what times suit, and call then. You will get a fuller answer.
For a detailed discussion, ask for a scheduled meeting with the consultant rather than trying to cover everything in a phone call.
Questions that produce useful answers
Vague questions get vague answers. These do not.
- What is the main problem today, and has it changed since yesterday?
- What are you most worried about at the moment?
- What would count as improvement in the next 24 hours?
- What would count as deterioration, and what would you do about it?
- Is the treatment plan working, or is it being changed?
- What are the realistic possible outcomes from here?
- Is there anything useful we can do?
Say when you do not understand
Clinicians slip into technical language without noticing. Interrupt and ask for it in plain words. Ask for the same explanation twice if you need to. Write the answers down at the time, because you will not remember them later.
If you feel you are not being told enough, say so directly to the nurse in charge or ask to speak to the consultant. That is a reasonable request and it will not affect your relative's care.